Relationship Record

So you’re talking to some beautiful woman, and after a few messages back and forth, you decide to exchange emails, you continue the conversation, but the topic starts going to ‘you are my soulmate, I live far away, can you send me a couple thousand so I can meet you’. Now, my example that I gave in Mail Check #3 was pretty obvious. The woman suddenly forgot to inform me she lived in Russia, and wanted me to help her see me, because after a conversation of 5 emails, she felt I was her soul mate. She also disregarded any questions I had, and sent long winded text messages that answered none of the questions I had.

However, not all exchanges are that obvious. There’s a ton of people out there that would trade your emotional needs for a buck any day of the week. Here’s a few things you can do to spot them, and not become a victim yourself:

1.) Look for clues in their responses

The first basic one is ‘are they actually talking to me? Or are they sending me long winded messages that try to butter me up in some way or another? When most people have a discussion, there is usually an exchange of words back and forth discussing each one’s interests. If the person is telling you how much they adore you, and they want to be with you but can’t (especially due to monetary reasons). Red flags should shoot up.

2.) Ask thought provoking questions

Don’t just ask questions, ask ones that will get them to think. If they are trying to scam you, they are also probably trying to scam a hundred other people as well. Start asking thought provoking questions, and see what responses you get. If they start responding by ‘I don’t know about that, but I know I want you’, they probably don’t have the time or patience to start answering questions, since all they really want is your money. Someone who is genuinely interested in you will respond directly to you, hopefully give you good solid answers, and not just fluff you off.

3.) Don’t send money

This is a pretty basic one. As soon as someone asks for money, for whatever reason, either from online dating, or a man who has money in a bank in Nigeria that wants to share it with you. Say no.

4.) Trace the email.

This one’s a bit more technical, but if you exchanged emails, and that person is writing out of a let’s say Russia, you can do a quick check and see if they are in fact writing from where they say. Now, this isn’t the 100% sure-fire-way to check if someone is scamming you. However, if you’re having your suspicions already, this is good way to help reinforce your doubts.

Here are the steps to trace it:

a.) Copy the email headers from the senders email.

Outlook 2007

Right click the email message in the inbox window pane, and select message options. The headers are under ‘Internet Headers’

Gmail

Select the message you want to check, go to the small down arrow to the left of ‘Reply’ on the message. Select ‘Show Original Message’

Hotmail

Right click the message you want to check, and select ‘view source’

Yahoo Mail

Right click on the message and select ‘View Full Headers’

Other mail clients will have their own methods for accessing the headers. Consult your email client’s help page to find out how to display them.

b.) Go to a website that will trace the header for you

To trace an email, I use a site such as http://www.ip-adress.com/trace_email/ or a similar one (there are tons out there). All you need to do is copy the headers into it, and voila! It comes up with the senders location.

With these tips in mind, you should be able to combat, and the very least minimize your chances of getting scammed online. Always be on the lookout, and stay smart when talking to people!