Relationship Record

Today I went to check how many emails I had received since I signed up a few days ago.

I had a massive running total of…ZERO. That’s right, It was the same number that I joined with! (Coincidentally, that same number is also the percentage of likelihood that Elisha Cuthbert is going to come over and dig into my pants.)

It’s pretty clear that there isn’t tons of ladies looking for a King Kong sized man at the moment. Maybe I should actually ‘write’ to a girl instead of deluding myself into believing that some smoking hot chick is going to message me with ‘Hi, my name’s Bambi! I like to sunbathe in the warm hot sun, with hot oil all over me!’.

I read over a few of these profiles, a few caught my eye, and I sent out a generic ‘hi! how are you!’, but I didn’t get any responses. (My favorites were the ones where the smoking hot girl in a bikini with the focus on her bountiful chest with profile reading how ’she doesn’t want to be looked upon as an object’). I contemplated sending myself a few messages, but I thought I’d give myself another week before I reduce myself to that level of sadness.